Experimental Sleeping

I may just have to
Soldier through this sludge
That my head has become.
Just to be able
To sleep in my own bed,
In my own bedroom,
In the house where my mother
Is no longer physically present.
I just want to be able to sleep.
I just want to be able to lay down
And close my eyes
Without remembering the nights
I spent crying
And trying to prepare
For a morning when I’d awake
To the news
That she was gone.
The news
That would alter my world.
The news
That i thought would begin the end
Of this existence,
And begin my journey
To find and be with her
In some parallel universe.

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